Jealousy can be seen as a normal human behaviour but when it takes a toll on a person, it could end relationships, careers or lives. Let’s get to know how to free ourselves from the trap of jealousy.
Delusional jealousy, as with any delusion, does not respond to reason or logic. So no matter how reasonable or logical of an argument a person puts the jealous person will always find a way to be jealous.
Here in this article we decode the 10 ways to fight strong jealous feelings.
Why exactly do you feel jealous when your partner goes out with their friends? Is it a feeling of inadequacy? Do you find yourself constantly comparing yourself to others and thinking if only I could be more like them then I would be happy? What is the exact thing you are jealous of? It may be that you hope your partner still wants to be with you.
It may be that you feel like you should be further along in life than you are. It may be that you want the body you don’t have. The sooner you figure out exactly why you are jealous the faster you can do something about it.
Is it when you’re out at social occasions, or it is because of your partner? Are you more likely to have jealous thoughts when you’re having a bad day? Make a list of the situations that trigger your suspiciousness, hypervigilance, or self-doubts.
If your jealousy is being maintained by your erroneous convictions, then it is time to change those convictions. By conducting thought experiments, you can show just how wrong those convictions actually are. Maybe you think that you need to be on the alert for signs of his or her unfaithfulness, or else something bad will happen.
Try not being on the alert and then see what happens; chances are your ominous predictions will not come true.
You have to take into account the underlying issues, such as abandonment and feelings of inferiority that you carry into your relationships. For example, if you are constantly fearful that people will abandon you, this fans the flames of distrust, increasing your feelings of anxiety and jealousy. Identifying your trigger points can help stave off those self-doubts and anxious ruminations.
Ask that friend with the amazing body what they do to keep it that way. Ask your coworker how they got that promotion. Ask a writer you look up to how they got their first piece published. You’ll never know until you ask. The sooner you ask or learn, the sooner you can have success and overcome your jealousy.
Let’s face it, we don’t always do our best and that can leave us with feelings of regret and jealousy toward others. Want to lose ten pounds or write that novel? Don’t make anymore excuses why you can’t and just do it. Do your best at getting what you want and fulfilling your dreams and at the end of the day you’ll feel happier, more confident, and have less jealousy toward others.
Name the kind of person you would want to have as a friend or partner. Chances are you named a lot of qualities that you already possess. Now, list all of the things that you like about yourself including looks, personality traits, ethics, and achievements. Next time feelings of jealousy come crawling up from the deep trenches of negativity, remember that list and celebrate everything that you are, you’d be surprised that others celebrate you too!
Telling yourself you are unlovable is almost guaranteed to make you feel depressed. Recognize that your emotions follow from those automatic, dysfunctional thoughts, and you are then ready to move on to changing them.
It is hard not to act the way you are feeling. The feeling of jealousy or any other feelings is not the problem, the real trouble starts when you start acting on that jealousy and let it consume you. You can feel the feeling, but do not have to act on it. So, the next time you feel jealous, accept the feelings, yet change the way you think about the situation and be reasonable and wise.
If you are dealing with pathological or morbid jealousy you may want to seek professional counseling. A counselor will be better able to help you identify the reasons you are jealous and in some cases, why or when that intense jealousy came into your life. Morbid jealousy is a self-fulling prophecy.
If you are jealous of how your partner spends their time or are constantly paranoid that they are cheating on you, chances are you’ll alienate them and push them so far away that they will leave you. Get help before you reach the point of alienating friends, family, and partners.
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