10 Things You Must Try to Control Your Anger & Not Lose Your Calm

Anger is a normal and generally healthy human emotion. But it’s really important to handle it the right way. A state of uncontrolled anger can be bad for your health, ruin your personal relationships and adversely affect your work life.

So here are 10 ways to control your anger and not lose your calm.

1. Talk About the Situation

You can talk about the situation with a friend or to yourself loudly when nobody else is around. This gives a vent to the burdensome thoughts that are making you feel angry as speaking with a neutral observer can help in bringing a perspective to the situation.

2. Embrace Empathy

When you’re mad at someone, you naturally lose the ability to understand what the other person is trying to say. By truly empathizing, you put yourself into the other person’s head and heart to understand and feel what he or she is experiencing. An antidote to anger, empathy can be practiced by picturing the situation through the other person’s eyes or writing a story from that individual’s perspective.

3. Don’t Judge Yourself or Others Too Harshly

If your anger is driven by how other people should act or behave, anger becomes a ‘self-righteous’ emotion. Every human in the world functions differently and has opinions on things that might differ from yours. And that’s perfectly okay as that doesn’t make it a fact. But going after people and telling them to be convinced of what you think is right or how they ought to behave will only make you a restricted and angry individual.

4. Take Deep Breaths

According to Assistant Professor of Community and Family Medicine at St. Louis University, Robert Nicholson, your body feels tense when you’re angry. And by taking deep breaths, you can lower your internal anger meter.

5. Engage in Creative Pursuits

Creative and artistic pursuits such as writing, painting, music, or dancing allow releasing the tension and controlling feelings of anger.

6. Watch Yourself Angry

Angry people often feel proud of their anger. Even if they don’t accomplish anything, they experience a sense of self-satisfaction for their actions. But that’s not the way their onlookers or victims perceive them to be. It’s worth seeing or hearing yourself angry once in a lifetime. Though it’s hard to catch yourself in a spontaneous fit of rage, you may replay an angry situation in front of the mirror.

Consider a real-life example of the great tennis player Roger Federer. Reportedly, he would smash his racket during his junior years. After watching himself doing that on TV once, he gave up on this for life.

7. Develop a Sense of Worthiness

Usually, you blame others and yourself when you’re in a state of anger. So it becomes important for you to realize your self-worth and list down your positive traits. It’s a critical step in overcoming self-blame. You can even seek a professional’s help if you need more help.

8. Get Some Exercise

Engaging yourself in physical activity reduces stress and prevents you from getting angry. If you feel like your anger is growing, go for brisk walking or running or do some physical activity you enjoy.

9. Think it Through

You’re angry but what is the matter really about? Seek professional advice if you can’t get to the heart of it by yourself. After figuring it out, think about the solution. And know that anger only makes a situation worse and doesn’t fix anything.

10. Pause for a while, Count Down from 10 & Let It Settle

According to Ronald Potter-Efron, the co-author of ‘Letting Go of Anger’ and anger management specialist in Eau Claire, Wisconsin, one research suggests that the neurological anger response lasts for less than 2 seconds. Beyond this, it takes commitment to stay angry. Just try to mentally recite the Pledge of Allegiance count to 10 and notice if the urge to get mad lessens.