25 Funniest Paradoxes That Will Confuse the Hell Out of You

The world is full of so many quirky things, some of which are ironical enough to make you laugh and think hard! Let me give you an example. We’ve either read and heard “Two is a company, three is a crowd” and “The more the merrier” a lot. So how should you go about it? Huh! And you may even think, “I’d better be alone!” ;)

Now let me give you another such example. There’s an idiom that says, “The early bird catches the worm.” And then there’s one that says, “Good things come to those who wait.

Doesn’t it all sound paradoxical? It does, you know!

Here are 25 mind-bogglingly funny paradoxes that will make you scratch your head and crack you up, both at the same time!

1. A falling cat with a buttered toast on back defies gravity!

This (hypothetical) happening occurs as a result of two contradicting proverbs “Cats always land on their feet” and “Buttered toast always lands buttered side down.”

The cat righting reflex enables the falling cats to turn themselves right-side-up in the air and land on their feet. And the toast invariably falls buttered-side-down on the floor. This buttered cat paradox arises when one tries to attach a piece of buttered toast on a cat’s back and let it fall from a height.

2. When Pinocchio says, “My nose grows now"

Do you remember that famous children’s novel ‘Adventures of Pinocchio’ in which Pinocchio is punished with grown nose every time he utters a lie? 

You do? So now consider a situation where Pinocchio says “My nose grows now". It will have these two possible cases: 

• Let’s assume the case if the nose grows. That means he’s speaking the truth so his nose shouldn’t grow. However, his nose grows only when he lies. And thus we get a contradictory result.
  
• Now let’s assume if the nose doesn’t grow. That means he’s lying and his nose should grow but it doesn’t. And again, we get a contradictory result. 
  

This is known as the Pinocchio paradox that is a version of the self-reference liar paradox.

3. A ‘Hipster’: To be or not to be?

A hipster is one who follows the latest trends and fashion and doesn’t belong to the cultural mainstream. But you know, there’s a catch here! 

If there are a lot of hipsters in the world, being one becomes mainstream as they’ll be doing the mainstream. And if you’re not a hipster, you naturally become mainstream.

Spread the word and do tell this to your ‘hipster’ friends!

4. When fortune cookies trick you!

Why you do this! :( 

5. A page printed with text “This page [is] intentionally left blank”

If you come across such a page in some document, wouldn’t that feel paradoxical? Well, it would. But you know there’s a reason behind it! 

There are a lot of documents that have intentionally blank pages or vacant pages. It is purposely placed in legal documents, manuals, and exam papers for place-holding, space-filling and content separation. This prevents the reader from suspecting that those blank pages are there because some printing error has occurred or a page has been missed.

6. More cheese = Less cheese? What?!

The more cheese a Swiss cheese has, the more holes you have. But doesn’t more holes mean you’re going to get less cheese! Oh, does that mean more cheese is less cheese?

Whatever that means, I want more cheese! ;)

7. If you make a new year's resolution to not keep any new year's resolutions. Would you keep it?

Well, that’s actually tricky! 

• If you make a new year’s resolution of not keeping any new year’s resolution, you ARE indeed making one. However, you should not be! 
  
• And if you don’t make the new year’s resolution of not keeping any new year’s resolution, you ARE again making one. However, you should not be! 
  

And anyway, how often do we stick to the one we make every year! So it’s just better to not make one. ;)

8. What to do now?!

Nothing had to be done, nothing has been done! What should now be done!

9. Who shaves the barber?

A barber is the one who shaves all those and only those who do not shave themselves. So, does the barber shave himself?

The barber cannot shave himself because he shaves only those who do not shave themselves. If he shaves himself, he is not a barber. But if he does not shave himself, then he is among those who are shaved by a barber and so he must shave himself.

This is a kind of self-reference paradox popularly known as the “Barber paradox”.

10. Everyday Struggle of a Freshman!

It may sound relatable to freshmen searching for a job who just happen to meet employers looking ONLY for experienced candidates! 

And on a positive note, talent, and hard work can beat experience!

11. As I said before, I never repeat myself.

Some voluntarily and some involuntarily, people do keep saying things that they said they’d never!

12. Your mission is not to accept the mission. Do you accept?

THIS IS --> MISSION IMPOSSIBLE (& COMPLICATED)!

13. A man says, “Don’t trust me, don’t trust anyone”

If you agree with the man, you’re trusting him despite him saying don’t trust me. And if you don’t agree with the man, you’re again trusting him as he says don’t trust anyone (which includes him as well). 

Trust me, it means that!

14. Most Confusing Captcha Ever!

Did it leave you perplexed for a moment? Trust me, you have to type ‘don’t type’ even if it says so! ;)

15. Do you see the problem?

Nobody’s home & you lost your glasses! But to find your them, you need them! 

16. Keyboard failure! Press F1 to continue

You think I'm a fool?!

17. This is lame but it’s funny!

This is probably one of the most useless sign-board ever created! Don't you think?

18. Keeping everyone out of an information system is impossible and so is getting everyone into one!

It takes infinite amount of money in getting everyone on an information system or keeping everyone out of it while reaching the extremes costs comparatively low. This is better known as Mayfield’s paradox. 

Depicted as a U-curve, percentage of humanity that can access system is represented on horizontal axis and the cost of the system is represented on vertical axis. The paradox shows that at some point of the curve, additional security becomes unrealistically expensive. On the contrary, at some point of the curve, adding more users becomes unrealistically expensive.

19. Only Chuck Norris can divide by zero!

Divide by zero is and internet slang that describes an action leading to epic failure or theoretically an unlikely apocalypse or a wormhole in the time-space continuum.

‘OH SHI-’ was phrase of cutting someone off mid-sentence as a result of disaster. 

This is a type of time paradox.

20. “Ignore all the rules” is a rule itself!

This is a rule that prevents you from following any rule (even the rule itself)!

21. Can an omnipotent being create a stone so heavy that it cannot lift the stone?

There can be two situations. Either the being creates a stone it cannot lift or it cannot create a stone that it cannot lift. 

• If a being can create a stone it cannot lift, then it ceases to be omnipotent. 
  
• And if it cannot create a stone that it cannot lift, it is already not omnipotent.
  

This is the modern version of omnipotence paradox of creation.

22. Which side do you think is true?

There’s a card having statements printed on both sides. The front one(first) says, “The sentence on the other side of this card is true” and the back one(second) says, “The sentence on the other side of this card is false.

• If the first statement is true, so is the second. And if the second one is true, then the first is false. This follows that if the first statement is true, then the first statement is false.
  
• Now let’s do just the opposite. If the first statement is false, then the second is false. But if the second is false, the first is true. This follows that if the first statement is false, then the first is true. The same thing is applicable to the second statement.
  

This is a card paradox, and it is a version of the double liar paradox.

23. Keeping other’s preferences over ours

A family is playing dominoes on the porch on a hot afternoon in Coleman, Texas. The father-in-law suggests that they can plan the dinner in Abilene (53 miles north). The wife was happy with his idea. The drive was long and dusty and the husband also had his reservations but he agreed because of the group. The mother-in-law was also okay with the plan; also because she hadn’t been to Abilene for a long time.

The drive was hot, long and dusty. After arriving at the cafeteria, the dinner was as bad as the drive. Four hours later, they reached home, all exhausted.

A dishonest voice says, “It was a great trip, wasn’t it?” The mother-in-law said that she would have stayed home if the other three were not so enthusiastic. The husband said that his reason behind agreeing to the plan was for their satisfaction. The wife came up with her reason that she went to give them a company otherwise the hot weather have always been her reason for denial. The father-in-law suggested the plan so that others might not get bored.

All of them sit back perplexed to decide on a trip that none of them wanted.

24. Yes or No? What’s your answer?

You’d be dead confused when you’re asked to answer truthfully, “Will the next word you say be ‘no’?” because:

• If you say no, that means you won’t be saying ‘no’ (but you just said it!)
  
• And if you say yes, that means you’ll say ‘no’ (but you just said yes)
  

25. If the temperature this morning is 0 degrees and the weather channel says, “it will be twice as cold tomorrow”, what will the temperature be?

The weather reporter may be technically wrong here. But if he or she has said it, the damage has already been done!