Funny true stories and more from doctors and patients around the world. These hilarious stories will definitely make you forget your working blues.
How do you rate your doctor’s work? 9 out of 10 or you can give them full marks as they help you keep your body fit and fine. Actually, doctors really work hard. Their job is a kind of serious one and once in a blue moon, you might happen to get involved in funny conversations with them.
A visit to doctor’s office always involves something unfortunate happening with you. But as they say ‘laughter is the best medicine’, there have luckily been some hilarious conversations between the patient and doctor.
Here we have compiled a list of funny tales happened in a doctor’s office.
A doctor said as he leaned to check the patient's eye. She got a little frisky and reminded him of her third husband. Here's the whole conversation:
As I leaned in to check her eyes, my older patient got a little frisky. “You remind me of my third husband,” she said coyly.
“Third husband?” I asked. “How many have you had?”
- Leon Pendracky, OD, Avella, Pennsylvania
My patient announced she had good news… and bad. “The medicine for my earache worked,” she said. “What’s the bad news?” I asked.
“It tasted awful.”
Since she was feeling better, I didn’t have the heart to tell her they’re called eardrops for a reason.
- Murray Grossan, MD, founder of the Grossan Institute, Los Angeles
I gave my patient the results of her sleep study: “It looks like you stopped breathing in your sleep over 65 times per hour.”
Her response: “Did I start back?”
- Michael Breus, PhD, Scottsdale, Arizona
Scene: The operating room. I’m reviewing the surgical checklist with the nurses.
Me: We have the surgical equipment, the heart-lung machine, antibiotics, and the replacement heart valve on hand.
Patient: You wait until now to figure this stuff out?
- Marc Gillinov, MD, The Cleveland Clinic
A doctor tells his wife, “You’re a terrible cook, you spend too much money, and you’re a lousy lover!”
Two weeks later, he comes home to find her making out with his partner.
“What’s going on here?!” he demands.
“Just getting a second opinion,” she replies.
Have you ever noticed doctors dressing up in funny themes like these? Isn't it amusing?
Mr. Harper sued a hospital, saying that after his wife had surgery there, she lost all interest in sex.
A hospital spokesperson replied, “Mrs. Harper was admitted for cataract surgery. All we did was correct her eyesight.”
To paraphrase Mark Twain: Be careful of medical transcripts; you may die of a misprint.
Social history reveals this one-year-old patient does not smoke or drink and is presently unemployed.
On the second day, the knee was better and on the third day, it disappeared.
Discharge status: alive but without permission.
Exam of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
Occasional, constant in-frequent headaches.
Bleeding started in the rectal area and continued all the way to Los Angeles.
After discussing a patient, the doctor ended his conversation by telling me, “I love you.” Following an awkward pause, he said, “I’m sorry, you were telling me what to do, so it made me think I was speaking with my wife.” (9.1)
“My child stuck a mint up my nose and I had to go to the emergency room to have it removed.”
“I got sick from reading too much.”
Employee got stuck in the blood pressure machine at the grocery store and couldn’t get out.
“My dog wasn’t feeling well, so I tasted his food and then I got sick.”
Don’t you think the excuses are damn SERIOUS?!
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